Self Awareness: Definition, Types, and How to Cultivate It

A few years ago, I kept falling into the same pattern—I would take on too much at work, feel frustrated when others didn't do the same, yet still say "yes" every time someone needed help. I told myself I was just being a team player, but deep down, I felt drained.

It wasn't until I realised that I was unaware of my own limits. That was my wake-up call to start building self-awareness, and it changed everything.

Studies show that only 10-15% of people are truly self-aware, even though most of us believe we are. This means we often don't realise our own habits, emotions, or how others see us.

But self-awareness can be learned—and once you start, it will change the way you think, react, and grow.

What Is Self-Awareness?

Self-awareness is the ability to recognise and understand your own thoughts, emotions, and behaviours—and how they affect both you and the people around you. It's about being conscious of what's happening inside your mind and body while also seeing yourself from an outside perspective.

Psychologists describe self-awareness as a key part of human consciousness. Self-Awareness Theory, introduced by psychologists Shelley Duval and Robert Wicklund in 1972, suggests that when we focus on ourselves, we compare our behaviour to our internal values.

But self-awareness isn't just about noticing your emotions—it's also about understanding why you feel a certain way. It's recognising patterns in your thoughts, questioning assumptions, and becoming more intentional about your decisions. The more self-aware you are, the more control you have over your reactions.

How Does Self-Awareness Develop?

Self-awareness begins in childhood and grows over time. Have you ever seen a toddler stare at themselves in the mirror? That's an early sign of self-awareness.

Psychologists call this the mirror test, a milestone when young children start recognising themselves as separate individuals. As they grow, they begin to understand their emotions, making choices, and realising that others think and feel differently from them.

As we move through adolescence and adulthood, self-awareness deepens through life experiences. We reflect on our actions, learn from mistakes, and adjust how we respond to situations.

The brain also plays a role—scientists have found that the prefrontal cortex is responsible for self-reflection. It develops well into early adulthood, meaning our ability to think about ourselves continues to refine over time.

But self-awareness doesn't just happen—we have to work at it. The more we reflect, the better we understand ourselves and the world around us.

4 Different Types of Self-Awareness

1. Internal Self-Awareness

Internal self-awareness is understanding your thoughts, emotions, values, and motivations. It's knowing why you feel a certain way and how your beliefs influence your decisions.

For example, if you often feel frustrated at work, do you know what's causing it? Recognising the patterns helps you make choices that align with your true needs.

2. External Self-Awareness

External self-awareness is understanding how others see you. It's about recognising the impact of your actions, words, and emotions on those around you.

Have you ever said something in a meeting and noticed a shift in the room's energy? Being aware of this allows you to adjust your communication and develop stronger emotional intelligence.

3. Bodily Self-Awareness

Bodily self-awareness is tuning into the physical sensations of your body. It's noticing when stress tightens your shoulders, when exhaustion slows your thinking, or when certain foods affect your energy levels.

Many of us push through discomfort without realising our body is sending signals. Listening to these cues can improve your health and help you feel more in control of your well-being.

4. Social Self-Awareness

Social self-awareness is understanding your role in different social settings. It's recognising group dynamics, reading body language, and knowing how your presence influences a situation.

Have you ever walked into a room and sensed tension without anyone saying a word? That's social self-awareness at work. This skill helps in friendships, teamwork, and leadership, allowing you to navigate interactions with greater empathy and confidence.

3 Levels of Self-Awareness

Self-awareness isn't something we wake up with fully developed—it grows in stages. Psychologists describe three levels of self-awareness, each building on the one before it.

Level 1. Subjective Self-Awareness

This is the most basic level—simply being aware that you exist as a separate being. It's the kind of awareness animals have, where they react to their surroundings but don't reflect on themselves.

Think about when you're deeply engaged in an activity—laughing with friends, playing a sport, or enjoying music. You're present in the moment but not analysing yourself.

While this level is important for living in the present, staying here too long can make it hard to grow and learn from experiences.

Level 2. Objective Self-Awareness

At this level, you start seeing yourself from an outside perspective. It's when you become aware of how you think, feel, and behave.

Have you ever said something in frustration and later reflected on why you reacted like that? That's objective self-awareness in action.

It can be uncomfortable at times—realising flaws, facing mistakes—but it's also where personal growth begins. With this awareness, you can make intentional changes instead of repeating habits that don't serve you.

Level 3 Symbolic Self-Awareness

This is the most advanced level. It's the ability to think deeply about who you are, who you want to be, and how your past, present, and future connect.

People with symbolic self-awareness reflect on their purpose, personal values, and long-term goals. They use self-awareness not just to understand themselves but to shape their lives.

It's the difference between thinking, which I tend to get defensive in conversations, and asking, how can I communicate more openly and grow from feedback?

Why Is Self-Awareness Important?

Self-awareness is one of the most valuable skills you can develop. It affects how you think, react, and interact with the world. The more you understand yourself, the better you can handle emotions, build strong relationships, and make choices that align with your values. Here's why self-awareness matters in different areas of life:

• It strengthens emotional intelligence. When you understand your emotions, you can manage them instead of letting them control you. This makes it easier to stay calm under pressure and express yourself clearly.

• It improves relationships. Self-aware people recognise how their words and actions affect others. This helps them communicate more effectively, avoid misunderstandings, and build deeper connections with friends, family, and colleagues.

• It supports mental well-being. Self-awareness helps you notice negative thought patterns before they take over. Instead of reacting impulsively to stress, you can step back, reflect, and choose a healthier response.

• It drives career growth and leadership. In the workplace, self-awareness allows you to recognise your strengths and weaknesses, seek feedback, and grow as a professional. Great leaders are often highly self-aware—they understand their impact on others and make thoughtful, informed decisions.

Proven Benefits of Self-Awareness

Developing self-awareness leads to many positive changes in life. Here are some of the biggest benefits:

• Better decision-making and problem-solving – When you understand your motivations and emotions, you can make choices based on logic and values rather than impulse. This leads to wiser decisions in both personal and professional life.

• Improved emotional regulation and stress management – Self-awareness helps you recognise triggers and respond with intention rather than reacting out of frustration or anxiety. This reduces stress and promotes emotional balance.

• Stronger personal and professional relationships – When you are aware of your behaviour and communication style, you can adjust it to create more meaningful and respectful interactions. This builds trust and connection.

• Greater resilience and adaptability – Life is full of challenges, but self-aware people are better at adapting to change. They can reflect on setbacks, learn from them, and move forward with a clearer perspective.

The more self-aware you become, the more control you gain over your life. It's a skill that takes time to develop, but the benefits are lasting—leading to stronger relationships, better decision-making, and a greater sense of inner peace.

How to Cultivate and Improve Self-Awareness

Becoming more self-aware takes time and effort, but it's one of the most valuable things you can do for yourself. It helps you understand yourself so you can make better choices and live a more intentional life. Here are some practical ways to develop and strengthen self-awareness:

1. Journaling and Self-Reflection

Writing down your thoughts and experiences helps you process emotions and recognise patterns in your behaviour.

• Set aside a few minutes each day to write about how you felt, what triggered those feelings, and how you responded.

• Ask yourself questions like What did I learn about myself today? or Why did I react that way?

• Over time, journaling can reveal habits, strengths, and areas for growth.

2. Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness is about paying attention to the present moment without judgment, helping you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings.

• Try deep breathing exercises or guided meditation to develop focus and inner awareness.

• Notice your thoughts as they come and go—without trying to change them—so you can understand your emotional patterns.

• Being mindful in everyday activities, like eating or walking, also improves awareness of your actions and reactions.

3. Learning From Others' Perspectives

Sometimes, we don't see ourselves the way others do. Seeking honest feedback from people we trust can help us understand our strengths and blind spots.

• Ask friends, family, or colleagues how they perceive your communication style, emotions, or habits.

• Be open to constructive feedback—it's not about criticism, but about growth.

• Observe how others react to you in conversations and reflect on their responses.

4. Managing Emotions Effectively

Understanding and regulating emotions is a key part of self-awareness. Instead of reacting on impulse, take a moment to process what you're feeling.

• When emotions rise, pause before responding. Ask yourself Why do I feel this way?

• Recognise emotional triggers and develop healthier coping strategies.

• Practise self-compassion—acknowledge emotions without harsh self-judgment.

5. Using Personality Tests and Psychological Assessments

While no test can define you completely, personality assessments can provide useful insights into your behaviour, preferences, and thinking patterns.

• Tools like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), Enneagram, or Emotional Intelligence (EQ) tests can highlight strengths and areas for improvement.

• Use these results as a starting point for self-reflection, not as strict labels.

• Combine test insights with real-life experiences for a deeper understanding of yourself.

6. Working With a Life Coach or Mentor

Having someone guide your self-awareness journey can be incredibly helpful.

• A life coach can provide an outside perspective and help you identify blind spots.

• They offer strategies and exercises tailored to your personal growth.

• Regular sessions can keep you accountable and motivated on your journey.

Examples of Self-Awareness Skills in Daily Life

Self-awareness isn't just a concept—it's a skill that can be practised and applied in everyday situations. Here are some key self-awareness skills that can make a real difference in daily life.

1. Recognising Emotional Triggers and Managing Reactions

Emotions are a natural part of life, but how we respond to them can shape our relationships and experiences. Being self-aware means noticing what triggers strong emotions and choosing a response that aligns with your values, rather than reacting impulsively.

• If a colleague gives you unexpected criticism, do you immediately feel defensive? Instead of snapping back, self-awareness allows you to pause, take a deep breath, and ask yourself Is this feedback useful? How can I respond constructively?

• If you find yourself feeling anxious before social events, recognising this pattern allows you to prepare coping strategies, such as practising deep breathing or setting small goals for interaction.

Why it matters: Managing emotions effectively prevents unnecessary conflicts, reduces stress, and helps you stay in control of your actions.

2. Understanding Strengths and Weaknesses

Self-aware individuals have a realistic view of what they excel at and where they need improvement. This helps in setting achievable goals, making better decisions, and asking for help when necessary.

• At work, recognising that you struggle with time management but are great at problem-solving allows you to focus on structuring your day better while leveraging your strengths in complex projects.

• In relationships, knowing you have a tendency to avoid difficult conversations helps you push yourself to communicate more openly rather than letting issues build up.

Why it matters: A clear understanding of your strengths builds confidence, while acknowledging weaknesses allows for personal growth and self-improvement.

3. Being Open to Feedback and Self-Reflection

Feedback can be uncomfortable, but it's one of the most powerful tools for growth. A self-aware person actively seeks feedback, reflects on it, and uses it to improve rather than taking it as personal criticism.

• If a friend points out that you tend to interrupt during conversations, instead of getting defensive, you can reflect on their words and observe your behaviour in future discussions.

• If your manager suggests improving your organisational skills, instead of feeling discouraged, you can see it as an opportunity to adopt better work habits.

Why it matters: Openness to feedback fosters learning and helps you become a better version of yourself.

The Role of Self-Awareness in Relationships

Self-awareness is the foundation of healthy relationships. Many relationship conflicts stem from misunderstandings, unchecked emotions, or unspoken expectations—self-awareness helps prevent these issues.

• Recognising emotional triggers: If certain words or actions make you defensive, self-awareness allows you to pause and reflect rather than react impulsively. For example, if you find yourself shutting down in arguments, ask yourself Why do I respond this way? instead of blaming the other person.

• Improving communication: Being aware of how your words and tone affect others helps you express yourself more clearly and listen with greater empathy. If you often interrupt or dismiss others' feelings, self-awareness helps you adjust and create better conversations.

• Strengthening emotional connections: Understanding your needs and boundaries allows you to communicate them openly. Instead of expecting a partner or friend to "just know" what you need, you can express it clearly, fostering stronger and more supportive relationships.

Example:

Imagine a couple where one person prefers talking through problems immediately, while the other needs space to process emotions. Without self-awareness, this could lead to frustration and miscommunication. But by recognising their own emotional responses, they can find a compromise that works for both—perhaps agreeing to take a short break before discussing the issue.

Self-Awareness in Leadership and the Workplace

Great leaders and professionals aren't just skilled in their work—they understand themselves and how they influence others. Self-awareness in the workplace improves decision-making, teamwork, and overall job satisfaction.

• Understanding strengths and weaknesses: Self-aware employees and leaders know what they do well and where they need support. This allows them to delegate tasks effectively, seek growth opportunities, and avoid overconfidence or self-doubt.

• Managing workplace stress: Recognising when you're overwhelmed helps you set boundaries and ask for help before burnout sets in. Self-aware professionals take responsibility for their workload instead of blaming external factors.

• Enhancing leadership skills: Leaders who understand their own emotions and biases make fairer decisions. They are open to feedback, willing to adapt, and able to inspire their teams. A leader who recognises they have a short temper, for example, can work on managing frustration before it affects team morale.

Example:

A manager who is self-aware might notice that they tend to micromanage because they struggle with trusting others to complete tasks. Instead of controlling every detail, they can actively work on giving their team more autonomy, improving both productivity and workplace relationships.

Self-Awareness in Children and Students

Self-awareness is just as important for young people as it is for adults. When children and students understand their emotions, strengths, and challenges, they develop better coping skills, confidence, and resilience.

• Building emotional intelligence: Teaching children to recognise their emotions helps them express feelings in healthy ways rather than acting out in frustration. Children who understand they feel anxious before a test can learn breathing techniques to calm themselves.

• Improving learning and academic performance: Self-aware students know what learning methods work best for them. Some may need quiet study time, while others retain information better through discussion. Recognising these preferences helps them study smarter, not harder.

• Developing social skills: Understanding their impact on others helps children form stronger friendships. If children notice that they tend to interrupt during conversations, they can learn to pause and listen, improving their interactions with peers.

Example:

A student who struggles with procrastination might realise that they avoid difficult assignments because they fear failure. Instead of labelling themselves as "lazy," self-awareness allows them to address their fear and develop better study habits, such as breaking tasks into smaller, manageable steps.

Final Thoughts: Embracing Self-Awareness for a Better Life

Developing self-awareness is a lifelong journey, but it starts with small, mindful steps. Take a moment today to reflect:

• What are my strengths?

• What triggers my emotions?

• How do my actions affect those around me?

The more you pay attention to yourself, the more control you have over your personal growth.

Now, it's your turn. Start journaling, seek feedback, practise mindfulness—whatever step feels right for you. The effort you put into self-awareness today will shape a wiser, more fulfilled version of yourself tomorrow.

Frequently Asked Questions About Self-Awareness

1. What does it mean to be self-aware?

Being self-aware means understanding your thoughts, emotions, and actions, and recognising how they affect yourself and others. It helps you make better decisions and improve relationships.

2. How can I practise self-awareness daily?

You can practise self-awareness by reflecting on your emotions, keeping a journal, paying attention to how you react in situations, and asking for feedback from others. Mindfulness and meditation can also help you stay present and aware of your thoughts.

3. How can I become more conscious of myself?

Start by observing your thoughts and behaviours without judgment. Notice patterns in how you react to situations, question your assumptions, and take time to reflect on your values and goals.

4. How do you explain self-awareness to students?

Self-awareness means understanding your feelings, actions, and how they affect your life. For example, if you get nervous before a test, self-awareness helps you recognise that feeling and find ways to stay calm.

5. What are some examples of self-awareness?

• Noticing that you feel stressed before a presentation and preparing ahead to manage it.

• Realising that you tend to interrupt in conversations and making an effort to listen more.

• Understanding that you work best in quiet environments and choosing a study space accordingly.

6. What are some good books on self-awareness?

• The Self-Aware Leader by John C. Maxwell

• Insight by Tasha Eurich

• Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves

• The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

7. Are there any quotes about self-awareness?

• "Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." – Aristotle

• "The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance." – Nathaniel Branden

• "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." – Carl Jung