Building A Lasting Relationship As Explained By An Expert

Dedicate Time For Each Other

Make it a common practice to dedicate at least one hour on an ongoing basis to work on your relationship. Couple coaches believe that scheduling weekly or monthly dates to talk about your relationship often gives quality time for couples to troubleshoot their problems and address them in due time before these issues progress to an unpleasant or complex stage.

You need to make sure that you're acknowledging the things that you're grateful for in the relationship and use the time to figure out how to solve problems and minimise them from happening in the future in an empathetic way.

Figure Out Recurring Issues And Solve Them

Every couple has at least one or two issues that just keep recurring. It could be fighting over your partner’s intense work schedule or spending habits. Whatever the issue is, experts recommend identifying these recurring conflicts, their root causes and deciding on practical solutions collectively.

It is also advised that couples focus more on specific and discrete behaviour changes than labelling and interpreting around the issue. Being solution-centric rather than blame-gaming allows more effective problem solving and a team-based healthy approach for building deep-rooted relationships.'

Repeat Words When Having A Discussion

Miscommunication and misunderstandings are the two most common reasons why relationships don't last long. Sometimes, the simplest statement may be heard differently by various people. To minimise the occurrence of these, couples are suggested to use a “mirroring effect” when having heated or important discussions. Here is how it works: When you communicate with your partner, repeat back exactly what you heard them say before you comment. Use words like “So you’re saying” and repeat what they said.

This effect has the possibility to improve the accuracy and quality of communication by allowing chances for correction in case of misunderstanding or misinterpretation. Moreover, it also creates a strong sense of being heard and understood in each partner, which is crucial for a healthy-long standing relationship.

Be Transparent About Finances

Unmet financial needs and related consequences tend to be a common underlying reason why couples seek relationship coaching, especially if they are married and have kids. Although insignificant, money issues are seen to magnify the levels of trust, power, and confidence among couples. Partners who clearly communicate their financial goals, and are willing to achieve them are likely to have a deeper bond that will last longer. Here, it's important to be upfront about each other's financial preferences so you both can find a common ground.

Fight In A Productive Way

Fights are inevitable in relationships. In fact, couples who never fight can have more problems because they are less likely to let emotions out or voice their concerns. However, the key to healthy fights is to make them productive. This is where you move the conversation forward and clearly explain why you're angry or feeling a certain way about your partner.

It's advised that you be specific about how any of your partner's behaviour or actions are impacting you, instead of telling them what to do. Couples are seen to be more fluid and aligned in their relationship when they engage in productive fights which support their enduring ability in a relationship.

If things still don't pick up no matter what you try, then it may be a better option to consult a relationship or marriage coach, as they can offer you a personalised guide on how to build a long-lasting healthy relationship.